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Adventuring Motherhood

  • Ashe

Treat your kid like your dog

When I was younger, I wasn't so sure that I wanted to have children. As a child when I played with my friends, I never played the "mom" character. I honestly, was always the animal. I always liked animals, but I was never allowed to have a cat or dog as a kid. I had a lot of animal books and these cool card things that came monthly and fit neatly into a box. My Grandmother had a lot of dogs though (and a cat, and birds), and so I still had an outlet to get my "fix" when I went and visited with her.

As I became older, kids were still not on my list. I had an idea in my head, how I wanted my children to grow up differently than me. And if I couldn't offer them that, then that was that. My boyfriend at the time (now my husband), had a similar baby fate in his mind. He knew for sure he wanted them, but he wanted more for them. He had a specific list of things he had to achieve before he would bother bringing it up though. I understood, and in some sense appreciated that. Though I didn't have a list, I just had an idea.

Years went by, and we rarely ever talked about kids. We got a cat, then another, then a dog, and then another. I was fine with being a #dogmom #catmom #furmom (or was I just filling my home, not seeing the bigger picture?), and for a while there I just thought I would be the cool Aunt. My sister, after all, talked about having children for - well ever. She did play "mom" during imagination time, she had a billion names she liked, she talked about kids, wanted to be a teacher, and worked at daycares. This was what she was meant to do. Seeing that throughout her life, made me feel like I wasn't supposed to have any children. After all, I only ever had the feeling of "baby fever" once or maybe twice in my life. My sister is ten years younger than I am, and so I was a big part in helping raise her. Maybe that filled my maternal need?

By the time I moved to Kansas, we moved into a house. My boyfriend's list was almost complete, and I still felt the same. Would I regret not having children? If I didn't, would I be holding my boyfriend back? We worked so hard at this point in our lives, and I didn't want to waste all the time we had together to squash his plans of becoming a Father. Maybe, there was something wrong with me? Maybe, I couldn't have children and this was my body's way of telling me. Those thoughts were rather depressing, but we carried on.

The list was complete. He didn't push, it was just a statement, and the list also fluctuated. I mean cars can break down. Which one did, and having two was important to him. But, now I was getting antsy. Not for the reason, you think, for whatever reason I woke up one morning and felt my clock ticking, that horrible clock all women talk about as they get older. I thought, "what the hell, let's give this a shot". At this point, A child wouldn't be so bad, and I now knew I would regret not trying. If it didn't work, then that was okay though.

Well, it did. It worked the first time we tried. Go us, for not having any accident children while we were younger since it was that easy!

As you know, I'm a Dog Trainer and a Business Owner (but that's low-key), so the running joke, while I was pregnant, was "If you treat your kid like you treat your dog, then he shouldn't be so bad!" Of course, this is a compliment, I like my dogs. As time went on, and I thought about it, I realized that I will be treating my son the same way I trained my dogs. Through positive love.

Once my son was born, I was overfilled with emotions. Crying all the time over everything, even a smile, this was happening more often, and way worse than while I was pregnant. In fact, he's sleeping in my lap as I type this. I love my son, and I've never felt so complete with my family life. I'm closer to my sister and father than I've ever been before. Watching my husband with our son has made me fall in love with him all over again. I know we're still new at this human parenting thing, but he's a good dad. I'm a good mom. My career life is needing an adjustment now, but I'm excited about it. I'm excited to be a parent. I'm so happy that we tried, and succeeded in having a child. I love watching him grow and learn something new every day. It started as a joke, but the more I've thought about it, the more I think it's true.

I'm excited to treat my son like my dog.

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